As a postnatal counsellor in Formby, I work with many new mums who have been through incredibly difficult experiences during pregnancy, birth, or early motherhood. Some of these experiences would clinically be considered traumatic. However, you might be surprised to learn that I don't always use the word 'trauma' when working with my clients in therapy.
And here's why that matters for your healing journey:
The Weight of Words in Postnatal Therapy
The word 'trauma' carries a lot of weight. It has heavy connotations that might not line up with how YOU experience what happened to you. If using this clinical label means you see your experience in a more distressing light, or if it simply doesn't sit right with you, then I'm not going to force that terminology onto your story.
Here's the thing - it's not my job as your therapist to tell you how to see what happened to you. Your experience is YOURS. You're the expert on your own life.
Some of my postnatal counselling clients also minimise what they went through as a way of protecting themselves. This is a completely normal defence mechanism, and I'm not about to rip that protective layer away from them just so I can use the 'correct' clinical terminology in our sessions. We can gently work together to help you come to terms with what happened without needing to call it trauma. There's no rush. We go at YOUR pace.
What Actually Matters in Postnatal Counselling?
The important thing isn't whether we label your experience as 'trauma' or not. What does matter is that you get the support you need to process any difficult experience that is still playing on your mind or affecting you in the present as a mum. That's it. That's what we're here for.
Whether you had a difficult birth, struggled with postnatal anxiety, experienced postnatal depression, or went through something else that's left its mark - if it's affecting you now, it matters. Full stop.
You don't need to have the 'worst' story or tick certain boxes to deserve support. You don't need to use specific language or labels to access healing. You just need to know that what you're carrying is heavy, and you'd like some help processing it.
Your Language, Your Experience, Your Healing
Whatever language feels right for YOU about your experience is absolutely fine with me.
Whether you call it:
- A 'difficult birth'
- An 'overwhelming time'
- 'That thing that happened'
- Or yes, 'trauma' if that word resonates with you
All of these are valid. What matters is that you feel seen, understood, and supported to process whatever is weighing you down as a new mum.
How EMDR Therapy Helps Without Requiring You to Relive Everything
In my postnatal therapy practice, I use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help clients process difficult experiences. I use this approach for two main reasons:
1. It WORKS. There's a ton of research backing up EMDR therapy as an effective treatment for processing distressing memories and experiences. It's not just something I've made up - it's an evidence-based therapeutic approach that has helped countless people.
2. You don't have to tell me the whole story of what happened for EMDR to be effective. You don't even need to remember all the details of your experience.
This second point can be a huge relief for mums who feel too overwhelmed to talk through everything that happened, or who worry that revisiting their birth or postnatal experience in detail will make things worse.
With EMDR therapy, we can work on processing what's stuck without you having to narrate every moment. Your brain does the healing work, and I'm there to guide and support you through the process.
When Difficult Experiences Affect Your Present
You might be reading this because something from your pregnancy, birth, or early motherhood is still affecting you now.
Maybe you:
- Have flashbacks or intrusive thoughts about what happened
- Feel anxious or on edge in ways you didn't before
- Find yourself avoiding certain situations or conversations
- Feel disconnected from your baby or your own emotions
- Experience physical sensations when you're reminded of what happened
- Feel like you can't fully enjoy motherhood because of what's lurking in the background
These are all signs that your nervous system is still processing what happened - and that's where postnatal counselling and EMDR therapy can really help. You don't need to have it all figured out. You don't need to know whether what you went through 'counts' as trauma or not. You just need to know that if it's affecting you now, it matters, and support is available.
Getting Started With Postnatal Counselling in Formby or Online
If you're a mum with little kids and you're struggling to let go of a difficult experience from your pregnancy, birth, or postnatal period, I'd love to help.
In our work together, we'll:
- Create a safe, judgment-free space where you can be completely honest about your experience
- Use gentle, effective approaches like EMDR to help you process what happened
- Go at your pace, using your language
- Build your confidence and help you feel more present and calm as a mum
I offer both online postnatal counselling and in-person sessions in Formby, so you can choose what works best for you and your family.
Ready to find out more about how EMDR and postnatal therapy could help you process something you're struggling with as a mum with little kids?
Book a free 20 minute call with me to discuss how I can support you. There's no pressure, no obligation - just a chance to talk about what you're going through and see if we might be a good fit to work together.
You can book your free call by filling in the form on my website or by heading to the link below. You deserve to feel calm, present, and able to enjoy your children without the weight of unprocessed experiences holding you back. Let's work together to help you get there.