In Formby and Online via Zoom
Face to Face Counselling in Formby
Couples therapy & postnatal therapy for new parents struggling with anxiety, depression & overwhelm
Your baby is awake again and you think "I just can't do this."
Your toddler won't put his shoes on and you EXPLODE.
That jittery feeling in your stomach is your constant companion and you can't switch off.
Horrible images of the difficult birth keep popping into your mind.
Your partner feels more like a house mate than a team mate right now.
If this sounds like you, I can help.
Life with little kids is an absolute rollercoaster.
While social media and well-meaning friends and family might tell you that this is supposed to be the 'best time of your life',
the reality is that becoming a mother or parent is a huge transition and we might need some support.
About Me
Hello! I'm Ruth. As a psychotherapist and certified postnatal doula, I specialise in working with new parents like you. I deeply understand how difficult the transition to parenthood can be because I had to work through postnatal depression and anxiety myself after my eldest was born.
It took me a long time to reach out for support but I'm so glad I did. Counselling turned my parenting journey around; it wasn't always easy but it was definitely worth it!
That feeling of dread in my stomach as I started a new day after a hard night disappeared. That voice in my head that told me I was failing at motherhood is now more of an occasional whisper that I acknowledge but don't take to heart.
That feeling of being constantly on-edge when my children are out of my line of sight is gone. I calmly leave the house to go to a yoga class and I'm fully present when I'm there (instead of constantly checking my phone in case something has happened).
I am really passionate about helping parents to overcome the stuff that is getting in the way of them being the parents and the people they want to be for their children. I know that change is possible because I have walked that path myself and see it every day in the 1:1 clients and couples that I work with.
I have a Level 7 Postgraduate Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling (distinction) and the ethical body I am registered with is the NCPS. I am also qualified in EMDR, which is an evidence-based way of working with trauma.
How Can Counselling Help?
Life with small children is often anything but straightforward. However, modern society prizes independence and capability so we often expect ourselves to white-knuckle our way through and pretend that we're coping. The problem is that this often isn't sustainable.
How many times have you pasted on a smile as you walk into a baby group when you really want to cry?
How many times has someone offered to look after the baby and you have said,
"No, honestly, I'm fine!" when you are actually overwhelmed AF?
How often are you having the same arguments with your partner and wondering if you can go on like this?
In therapy with me, you can tell it like it is without worrying that the other person is going to tell you that
"a healthy baby is all that matters". While family and friends might panic when they see you upset or go into 'fix-it' mode when you try to be honest about your experience, my clients tell me that I have a calm, reassuring presence that gives them permission to say the things that they can't say anywhere else.
Together we'll explore what you're struggling with and get to the root of the issues so that any changes you make will be long-lasting and set you up to be prepared for your parenting journey going forward.
Clients come to me feeling debilitated because their anxiety seems to jump out at them from nowhere and leave knowing exactly why they're feeling that way and what to do to feel calmer (even when your mother-in-law is questioning your parenting choices AGAIN).
They come to me feeling terrified to look at their memories of the birth because they're so overwhelming and leave with a sense of peace and closure around what happened. They don't have to 'grin and bear it' when people ask questions or desperately avoid TV shows or conversations about birth any more.
Couples come to me feeling like they're stuck in a groundhog day of resentment and one-upmanship with their partner. The pre-children days of affection and adventure feel like a distant memory. They leave feeling hopeful about their future as a family because they have already seen things starting to change.
Welcoming the cuddles in the kitchen instead of pushing your partner away. Seeing the fight coming before it really starts and knowing exactly how to defuse the situation.
People come to me for help with a wide range of issues.
Here are a few of the experiences that can be supported through counselling:
Feelings of stress or anxiety
Intrusive thoughts
Relationship problems or changes
Grief, loss or bereavement
Trauma and post-traumatic stress
Depression
Problems with confidence or self-esteem
Feeling lost
Infertility and trying to conceive
Miscarriage
Anxiety and overwhelm, be gone!
Anxiety and overwhelm after you have had children tend to be fuelled by a few really common things. When we understand where they are coming from and that, actually, our body and brain are likely just doing their jobs, our view of ourselves can start to shift. We begin to spot the times we're only doing things because we 'should' (the visit from your in-laws that's all on their terms, going to baby massage when you've had a horrendous night and just need a sofa day...) and start living in a way that aligns with what's actually important to you because THAT feels like freedom.
Find your way back to your partner
In the season of life where you're raising little kids, you have limited time and energy. Frankly, it can be really bloody difficult to find time for each other and to do the work required to improve your relationship. It's unlikely to be very effective if you're only managing to occasionally try a thing you saw on Instagram to improve your sex life or read a relationship book during nap time. This is where couples therapy comes into its own. I give you the tools, guide you through the process and provide the accountability for real change to happen.
Client Testimonials
“I couldn’t thank Ruth enough for her support during such a tough time for me mentally. After so much struggling to receive help, Ruth was the perfect balance of different approaches and techniques to help get me to a point where anxiety did not rule my life. The EMDR therapy was quite literally life changing as it allowed me to process a traumatic experience in a way I never ever thought was possible. Ruth was always so kind, compassionate and caring in her approach to helping me, I couldn’t have wanted or asked for more from her. Amazing at what she does, thank you.”
“I thought I was always meant to be a mum, I always wanted to be. The journey was long and difficult to have our baby & I was so shocked, saddened, disappointed when I found it so much harder than I ever thought. Ruth really helped me discover why I was feeling the way I was. I was able to delve into my thoughts, process my emotions and truly understand what my values are and how I can make sure my needs are met. Ruth gave me the space to see that it is ok to be more self, fill my own cup, meet my own needs and this really allowed me to find my inner peace again. I am now comfortable with how some of my relationships have changed Postpartum and if those relationships don't serve me, that's ok. I can now see that I am a good mum, I am enjoying being a mum and am able to give myself more compassion, permission to find it hard and wonderful at the same time. Cannot recommend enough.”
“Ruth was fantastic. She actively listened to my many worries, anxieties and thoughts and offered me plenty of space to get what I needed off my chest. Her tips throughout our sessions have given me enough tools to continue to use long after our sessions have ended. She has changed how I view myself and my parenting skills and means I can go forward and start to really enjoy motherhood instead of feeling like a total failure. A huge thank you!”
Contact Me
Appointments mostly available on Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays.
Reaching out is often the hardest part, especially when things feel raw or you're not sure where to start.
I offer a no-commitment 20 minute call as a starting point. In the call we'll talk about what's been going on and what you'd love things to look like instead. We can also get a feel for whether working together feels right. There's no pressure or commitment. It's just that gentle first step.
When you fill out the form below, I'll send over the link to my online calendar for you to book a call at a time convenient for you. If you haven't heard from me in 24 hours, please check your spam folder!
Alternatively you can reach me by phone at 07516 785213.
All enquires are usually answered within 24 hours,
and all contact is strictly confidential and uses secure phone and email services.
My Location
1:1 counselling sessions last 50 minutes and take place either online via Zoom or face-to-face in my counselling room in Formby. Couples sessions are 60 minutes and are in-person only.
My practice is easily accessible from the surrounding areas of Crosby, Southport, Liverpool and Ormskirk. Free parking is available.
Sessions and Fees - 1:1 Weekly Therapy
I have seen weekly counselling be transformational for my clients. They come to me feeling anxious, overwhelmed or full of RAGE and leave understanding where these feelings come from and how to manage them.
How would it feel to know in your bones that you are a good enough parent (even when your baby won't nap and your toddler is having their third meltdown of the day)?
What could happen if you were able to ditch the mum guilt that stops you from going to that pilates class or saying yes to the help offered?
Counselling sessions last 50 minutes and take place either online via Zoom or face-to-face in my counselling room in Formby.
The initial appointments is £75. Thereafter, pay-as-you-go counselling sessions are £80 and usually take place weekly. I also offer bundles of 6 sessions at a cost of £450 (£75/ session) (terms and conditions apply).
EMDR for Birth Trauma
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing) is an evidence-based way of working with trauma that helps your brain to file difficult experiences as being firmly in the past. This is important as our brains often struggle to process traumatic events and file them as 'over'. This means that sights, sounds, smells or other things in the present can take you right back to reliving the images, emotions and physical sensations that you experienced at the time of the difficult event.
Following the sessions, clients talk about feeling a great sense of release and relief; it's like a huge weight has been lifted from their shoulders. They can still remember what happened, but the memory now feels neutral instead of overwhelming; they know in their bones that it is over now. They are no longer terrified of people asking about what happened; they can talk about it without feeling like they are reliving it.
The EMDR process can be integrated into weekly counselling. Please mention EMDR when enquiring about therapy if you are interested in this service.
Birth or Breastfeeding Debrief Sessions
These sessions are perfect if you don't feel like you need ongoing counselling but would like a space to unpack your feelings around birth or a difficult breastfeeding journey.
Perhaps things happened very quickly in the birth and you haven't had the time and space to process what happened. Maybe you're struggling with grief or anger around your birth or breastfeeding experience but don't feel like you can talk to family and friends about it as they just don't seem to get it. Because "a healthy baby is all that matters", right?
What would it be like to be able to say how you really feel about what happened without worrying about upsetting the other person or without them trying to fix it?
How would it feel to finally have the space and support to gently look at the memories and feelings you might have packed away in a box? How much mental capacity might be freed up if you were able to finally put some of this to bed?
Investment: £150 per 90 minute session (face-to-face or online)
Couples Therapy
It is really common for couples to go through a rocky patch after having children; the transition from partners to parents while you're surviving on barely any sleep is no joke!
Maybe you feel like you've grown apart somewhere between sleeping in different beds to try to get some sleep and only seeming to have conversations about what you're having for tea or the fact that you've run out of loo roll.
Maybe you're feeling really resentful or angry towards your partner because of something that happened in the past that you're struggling to let go of.
Having children can really test your relationship but, with the right support, it is possible to find your way back to each other and be stronger than ever.
How would it feel to be able to step out of the repetitive arguments about whose day was harder? What would it feel like to have the tools to address any issues that come up so that you can model a healthy relationship for your children?
Investment: £85 per 60 minute session (face-to-face only)
Frequently Asked Questions
The length of counselling work will vary from person to person and will depend on what you would like to work on. Before we begin any work, we will agree on the initial number of sessions we’ll undertake, and at the end of that number we’ll review our progress. As long as we both agree further therapy will be of benefit to you, sessions can continue.
Counselling is usually shorter term and focuses on understanding and moving forward with one issue; the minimum number of sessions that I usually recommend is 6. Psychotherapy is usually longer term as we would be working on deeper-seated issues so the number of sessions can be open-ended.
For couples therapy, I usually see clients for at least 3 months so that we really embed the new communication patterns. However, the necessary number of sessions is really individual to each couple and will depend on things like how willing each person is to try new things, the underlying issues they are bringing to therapy, the childhood experiences of each person etc.
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing. It is an evidence-based way of working that helps your brain to process traumatic memories that might still be affecting you weeks, months or even years later. After the sessions, you will still remember what happened but it will feel firmly in the past. Previous clients have talked about feeling like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders or feeling a sense of peace and acceptance around the event(s).
EMDR works even if you don't tell me the story of what happened; you would just need to be able to go back to an aspect of the event (an image/ belief/ other sensory experience) in your mind. Because you will need to revisit what happened, EMDR might not be for you if the experience is still very recent and raw.
You can complete EMDR with me either as a stand-alone service to work on one specific memory or as part of weekly counselling.
If you are interested in processing just one event, the first couple of sessions would be preparation sessions where we do the emotional groundwork to ensure that you can access your memories of what happened as safely as possible. When you are ready, there will then be at least one processing session where we go through the desensitisation process to help your brain file what happened as 'just another memory'. This would be followed up with at least one final session to check that the event has been fully processed.
Where possible, it is usually better for the work if you are able to attend your sessions alone. This is because babies can (understandably!) be distracting and you may not feel that you can say certain things or really open up about your experience of motherhood with your baby in the room.
However, I understand that there may be times when clients need to bring their babies with them in order to attend the sessions. If you would like to bring your baby, we would discuss the pros and cons of doing this in a free 20 minute discovery call before agreeing to work together. Babies are only able to attend until they are crawling for health and safety reasons.
Everything that is said in the counselling room is private and confidential. I take this very seriously as an important part of counselling and psychotherapy is feeling able to say the things that you can’t say to anybody else.
However, there may be times that I need to break confidentiality for legal reasons, for example, I would need to break confidentiality if you disclose anything related to drug trafficking or terrorism. I would also need to break confidentiality for safeguarding reasons if there was a situation where you or others were at risk of harm. I go through all the exceptions to the confidentiality agreement really carefully as part of the contracting process in our first session so that all my clients are clear about when I would need to break confidentiality.
My aim is to offer a first appointment as soon as possible after you get in touch. We would then agree on a set number of counselling sessions to take place at the same time every week. If you are unable to attend during any of the slots that are currently available, I can put you on the waiting list for a convenient time and would give you an idea of how long the waiting list currently is.
No, this is optional. The 20 minute phone call or Zoom is a great way for you to get a sense of whether we might be a good fit to work together without making a financial investment. However, some clients already know that they just want to get started! If this is the case, I can book you straight in for an initial 50 minute session either in person or online. You can book this through making an enquiry through my website or by emailing me direct: info@formbypostnatalcounselling.com
I will then send over the booking link.
Absolutely! Having children is a monumental shift for the whole family but dads/ partners can often get forgotten about by midwives, health visitors and even other family members. Around 9% of dads/ partners experience postnatal anxiety or depression but the actual figure is likely to be much higher than this because so many of this group don't feel able to seek support and so are not counted in the statistics.
Yes, definitely. All sorts of feelings can come up when a baby is on the way and I help clients to process these so that they can feel confident and prepared for life after their baby has arrived. It might be that you have a previous loss that you need to work through or that you're suddenly struggling with low mood or anxiety. Working through these things before your baby arrives can be really beneficial so that the early weeks and months with your newborn feel more manageable.
Absolutely! For me, 'postnatal' means any time after having a baby. It's quite common for parents to wait to come to therapy until they have a bit more emotional space and distance from the immediate postnatal period. I didn't go to therapy until my eldest was 3.5 but a lot of the things I wanted to work on started after she was born and I still considered myself to be a 'postnatal' client.
Yes, I have two weekly slots available for people who are unwaged or for families on low incomes. The price for these is £50/ session. Please enquire about availability either via email or on the initial call.