Christmas is supposed to be the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, right?
For lots of us, wrong!
While we might really look forward to Christmas, for lots of mums it can feel really overwhelming and we might notice a real uptick in our anxiety.
So what’s going on?
Here are a few of the main things that might be contributing:
Sensory overstimulation
All the twinkling lights, the crowds, the socialising, the noise… Particularly if you are a sensitive soul, all that sensory input can quickly feel like too much. And there often isn’t enough time to decompress from this because it’s also likely that you have…
A VERY full diary
There is no other time of the year when we tend to have so many back-to-back things that we feel we need to cram in.
Such a busy diary can also mean that our normal routines and basic self-care go out the window.
The early nights you normally have that keep you on an even keel? Adios.
The exercise that clears your head? Rescheduled for January.
The veg you make sure you eat on the daily so you don’t feel like a slug? Replaced with cheese.
Without this stuff, our capacity to deal with stress often goes down and our anxiety levels can go up.
The mental load doubles
On top of all the normal stuff, whose job is it to buy the nativity costume? To buy and wrap all the presents? To sort a present for the teachers? To make sure the kids have a jumper that fits for Christmas jumper day? THE LIST GOES ON!
Chances are, that a large part of this list has fallen on your already very full plate. Thanks, patriarchy…
Holding all of this in your head takes up a lot of energy and headspace! It’s not uncommon for mums to tell me that they’re awake at 3am with all of this stuff rolling around in their heads.
Our own expectations
All of the lovely Christmas films and beautiful family photos on Instagram can often lurk in our unconscious and create an idea of the ‘perfect Christmas’ that we want to create for ourselves and our children.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that when it comes from a place of joy. Nothing you would like better than to make your own wreath? Crack on!
The problems start when we feel that we ‘should’ be doing certain things and so start to put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Everyone on Instagram is doing Christmas Eve boxes for their children; should I be doing that too?! Will my children feel ‘less than’ if I don’t do that?
Other people’s expectations/ family dynamics
Often, other people’s idea of their ‘perfect Christmas’ and ours don’t align and this can result in other people putting pressure on us to do things a certain way.
But we ALWAYS have a huge family gathering on Boxing Day! Even though you are still full from the day before and have, frankly, had enough of certain family members by then and you just want to chill in front of the TV while the kids play with their presents…
And yet we still go along with the plan because it would feel too uncomfortable to rock the boat. The payoff? Anxiety as the thing you don’t want to do approaches.
Does this sound familiar? Hopefully seeing a big list of the things that might be contributing to feelings of anxiety or overwhelm will help you to see just how much you’re juggling!
Can you be kind to yourself at this time of year when you’re dealing with all of that?
If you’re ready to do the work to turn down the anxiety and ditch the overwhelm, I can help. In 1:1 counselling we can dig into the specifics of your situation and see what might be fuelling these patterns so that you can feel calmer and actually enjoy the festive season!
Ready to get started? Counselling sessions are available online or in-person in Formby. Book a free 20 minute call at the link below to see if I might be the right therapist for you and to get started:
https://zcal.co/ruthrenouf